I Am Smart With A Capital SMRT! ;)

As I go back and read through things I’ve written, I seem to notice a pattern in the things I say. Not really a pattern I guess it’s more like, I repeat the same damn words and phrases over and over again.

“Ok, now…”

“So…”

I mean things like this. I’ll start like 3 sentences in one paragraph of with a ‘so’ or the ‘ok’ and then as I reread it I’ll go back and try to change it as often as I catch it. I have a tendency of writing something and then going over it again and again looking for mistakes, sentences that don’t make sense, repetitions, etc. I’m usually never satisfied with anything. I always feel stupid after I’ve read what I’ve written but eventually put it out there anyway. Why? I don’t know, to torture myself I suppose. I guess it’s just my insecurities. It’s not that I’m scared of people being critical because I don’t take compliments well either.

But anyway.

And there’s another one! I say either ‘anyway’ or ‘but anyway’ all the time as well. What’s the deal?? It’s not as if I don’t have a broad vocabulary. Geesh! I should sit here with a thesaurus next to me and look up every single word before I type it and come up with some real original sentences. Wouldn’t you just love that!

Or I could just go all Shakespeare on everyone. I doth write upon yonder computer…….umm yeah ok scratch that idea. How about Yoda? Writing blog I will.

Blah! So if you catch me saying those things over and over in the same blog call me out! Or don’t, I might snap lol. =S =D

Oh Where, Oh Where Have They Gone?

You know it’s kind of ironic. This coming directly after the last blog I posted. The subject of the first one and then this. *Sigh* Oh yes the irony. Yes I bet you’re sitting there scratching your head and wondering, ‘Yeah get on with it already what is the deal?’

For the life of me I have no idea how I did this. You can ask, but alas I will simply have no answer for you. So I’m sitting here playing one of my biggest addictions on Facebook called PackRat. Firefox freezes up on me, so I get it shut down and then I open my browser back up. I get back to my PackRat page and I’m playing for a minute before I think to myself, “hmmm. There’s something wrong here.” I scratch my head and stare at the page. “Am I missing something?” I wonder aloud. But I just can’t put my finger on it. So I shrug my shoulders and continue on. Well there’s something I needed to do within the game so I had to pull up another page from my bookmarks to double check something. Now you see me sitting there with a light bulb going off above my head, mouth agape in disbelief.
( =O <-- It looked something like this.) All of my bookmarks were gone.

I don’t just mean one or two here or there. We’re talking ALL of them. Not even an empty folder to be found. See I’m very anal about my bookmarks. They’re all in separate folders according to category. Sometimes it goes even further and they are in yet other folders within their category folder. But I tend to be pretty lax on that for the most part. As long as they’re categorized. But anyway.

“This isn’t a problem.” I think to myself. You see I have something that backs up all of my bookmarks onto the web so I can easily transfer them from one laptop to another. I did that just recently though, once I got my new computer.

I’ll put this here for Angela’s sake because she loves it when I talk about the NEW computer. :D

Anyway.

I go to download all of my stuff back on to my computer. But to my dismay, that as well is empty. (Now the face I’m making looks something like this =S) But I have no idea what happened!

So a couple hours later as I’m stumbling aimlessly and having absolutely no enjoyment out of it, because let’s face it, do I really want to start all over again making a new bookmark list? No way! Well my friend Erika pops on and we’re chit chatting and I say “Oh so get this…” and I tell her what’s going on. She does her usually O_o. So now we’re both stumped. Did you try this? Yes nothing. What about this? Yep did that too. So she has me hold on and she’s trying things out and looking things up.

Then she finally says “Ok try this…” And starts typing out all this mumbo jumbo, to which I follow step by step. The end result? I HAVE MY BOOKMARKS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have had no clue what to do and Erika came to my rescue. <3>

Who would have thought such a little thing would have me so lost for those couple hours today.

*Shakes head*

Welcome to the 21st Century!

I don’t have patience anymore for people who are less technologically capable than I am.

This isn’t me saying wow look at me I’m so smart. It’s just saying that those who cannot complete a simple task with any sort of “technology” and have to ask me, what I feel, are stupid questions, it irks me! I know everyone says, ‘Oh there’s no such thing as a stupid question!’ Bull crap! I have heard them before.

Example.

We have Direct TV, and there are quite a few channels called the Game Lounge. Bet you’ll never guess what those are? No you’re wrong they have games on them! :D So anyway, we got a package for it so we can play unlimited of any of the games available for the next year. Pretty cool right? Well I come from a family full of addicts. We come in all shapes and sizes. Gaming is one of them. So there are a couple of games on this channel that my mom absolutely is hooked on. Well whenever she has to get up to do something else and she's in the middle of a game, she has to ask me which button on the remote control is the pause button.

Ok let me walk you through this. For those who’ve never had one or seen one, the satellite converter remote control looks like one of your standard all-in-one, universal remote controls. Not only does it have the channel/volume up and down and the numbers 0-9 but it also has your standard DVD/VCR buttons.

Pause
Play

You see where I’m going with this one right? Right. Ok now in this day and age we have all been through the VCR phase and have moved on to the DVD players etc. The controls of both items have not changed. The format may have changed but how you access the device is the same basic pattern. We should all be familiar with these buttons by now. So here’s my question for you all…. “WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL HER EVERY DAY WHAT BUTTON TO PUSH??” And then she wonders why I give her an irritated sigh every single time I have to tell her.

This is simple. This is basic. If this were the show ‘Are You Smarter than A 5^th Grader’ this would be a 1^st grade question!

And that’s just one example…

*Sigh*

Call Super Nanny please!!

Some days, I think I might need the services of Super Nanny.

Do not get me wrong. I believe I have an amazing child. He’s funny, very bright and he can be so sweet and helpful. But some days...he just ticks me off! And now that we’re living with my mom, it’s like he goes back and forth between us both. But she’s on a shorter string than I am and snaps a whole lot sooner.

There are things that I know he does on purpose. Just for the reaction. I know this because the other night he was getting under Nana’s skin and for the life of me as I sit here now and write this, I can’t seem to remember what it was he was doing to her. But after she had gotten on his case about it he started to head upstairs. Where she was sitting her back was to the staircase and I was sitting sort of, off to the side of that so I had a view of both of them. He looked over at me and I said something about, ‘Quit trying to drive Nana crazy on purpose.’ Now he gets this grin on his face and he points at her, then makes a motion into his hand as if he was pushing an imaginary button and mouths the words to me, “I like to push her buttons!”

I was shocked! I mean I can obviously tell that it’s true, but for him to admit it kind of threw me for a loop. So I said to him, “You do that to me too don’t you?” He says, “What?” Me, “Push my buttons on purpose.” He rolls his eyes and says “Oh whatever.” And he continues on upstairs.

But he does, I will literally catch him staring at me out of the corner of my eye while he is doing something he knows drives me nuts. It’s like he’s watching my blood pressure shoot through the roof and the steam start to come out of my ears while he does these things. Like, he has this habit of pounding on things. I’m not sure how else to describe it. Drumming! He will like drum on things. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. It’s usually when I’m either trying to concentrate on something, or I’m watching something, or I’M ON THE PHONE.

Why do kids do that? I find myself saying one of the huge parent lines all the time.

“You wanted nothing to do with me 5 minutes ago. Now that I’m on the phone you won’t leave me alone!!”

I feel like I need to go apologize to my mother or something. She used to use that one on me all the time. And it’s not usually that he’s just bugging me for nothing, it’s like he will sit there and listen to my end of the conversation and think he knows what’s going on, so he’ll either correct what I’m saying or try to pipe in with his own answers until I snap. And sometimes even after that.

I love him, I really, really do. But, ugh why must they test their boundaries. And why must they do it so often??

I am happy dangit!!!

Why is it, that just because everyone around you are so blissfully in love they feel they must thrust this upon you as well?

You know what I’m talking about. Those friends of yours that just don’t understand why it is that you would want to be single. I mean look at them! They are just so happy and yadda, yadda, yadda. They always have the perfect guy to set you up with! And how scary is that? Uncomfortable, party of one. Oh and I’ll take a side dish of desperation with that.

Since when is it, that in order to define myself, I need to have a man by my side? Don’t get me wrong! If the right man comes along I’m all for it. But why should I feel rushed, pressured or sometimes even shamed into jumping into one?

Right now I’m just happy being a mom. I enjoy putting my child first.

Besides I have enough drama in my life without a relationship muddling it up even further.

I don’t know I guess I’m pretty cynical when it comes to relationships. Well when they are mine anyway. Others around me who are happy and married or whatever, I applaud you. I’m happy you found your someone. I’ll find mine someday. When I’m ready. Until then let the single girl be!

You're afraid of what??

I came across something the other day while I was stumbling. (Gee I say that a lot lately!) Anyway, there was this site that had a list of phobias and fears. Now some of these were down right hilarious. I mean I kept asking myself, “do people actually really have this??”

There was one though that now that I want to talk about it, I can’t find it anywhere!!! I should have never closed that page without bookmarking it first. Oh well. It was a fear of microwaves or using microwaves. I can’t even remember the phobia name and my searching effort has come up fruitless. But none the less I know I saw it!

In a small way. The smallest of the small, I have this. I can still use them but I stand like 3 feet off to the side while they’re running. It’s something about the radiation waves that I was told when I was little but it kind of gives me the willies now to think about standing directly in front of it while it’s in use.

So now you know one of my strange quirks. Don’t judge me because I’m strange. Go look up some of those other phobias. I look quite normal compared to some people.

Who knew Japan was so funny? Taylor and I now do.

So I told you about my addiction to stumbling. Well I’ve come across 2 completely hilarious videos that come from Japanese game shows while doing this. Yeah, sure you don’t understand a word they’re saying. Well unless you speak Japanese and then if you do…what the hell are you doing reading my blog? But you don’t need to understand what they are saying in order to appreciate the humor.

Ok now the first one, yeah it is pretty juvenile. But I’m sorry, shoot me for saying this but I laughed so hard I was in tears watching it. As well as my son. I was going to post the videos within the blog itself but they’re auto starts and then you would be bombarded with dueling videos upon opening and reading this. So I’ll send you on your merry way. And you will either laugh hysterically with me or think that I am absolutely nuts! Either way, I figure I’ll be bringing you a little bit of culture? Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.

Now that I’ve rambled a bit, I bring you The Silent Library Game

Now we move on from the juvenile to the..hey I want to do that! This one brings to life, so to speak, one of my favorite Nintendo games of the past. Tetris! Yes, Japan has a game show called “Hole In The Wall” I believe. Basically it’s human Tetris. It’s so funny to watch. And if the rumor I heard on late night television the other night is actually true, Fox has bought this and is supposedly bringing it to America! Woo hoo!!!

Without further ado, I bring you… Hole In The Wall (or Human Tetris).

So I hope I brought you a little bit of culture and humor to your day.
Sayonara. =)

Do you stumble?

Do you stumble?

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, I use the browser Firefox. Now I’m sure they probably have this add on for IE as well but I don’t like using IE as it always gives me way too many pop ups. Even when you have a pop up blocker enabled. And we’re talking nasty pop ups. I’ve had ones that would automatically install programs on my computer. So called “anti-virus” programs.

Anyway.

StumbleUpon is an amazingly addictive little add on for your browser. You simply click the button on your navigation bar and it will bring you to random web pages. Of course you put in the specifics of your “likes” to which it then caters to those. It sends you to different sites within your “like” categories.

You find things that you probably never would have come across on your own. Some things make you go, “Umm…what?” and others are just great.

But like I said it can be very addicting. I remember the first night I did it after I installed it and created my account, I was probably up until 3 a.m. just stumbling. There are things I would probably never have found on my own because usually my surfing the web consisted of going to Yahoo and doing a search. Yeah I know. I know. Everyone uses Google! I’m a yahoo girl and always have been. I don’t do change!!!

So now I’ve shared one of my addictions with you. I’m sure there’ll be more to come. If I’m up all night doing something I want you all to be doing it with me!

Please Lord do not let me become my mother!

So I’ve decided that my family is insane. Now I know everyone says that about their family but I am serious. They are just plain nuts.

My mother is one of my best friends. She truly is. But since living with her I’ve realized…. I DO NOT want to become my mother. Not to say she’s a bad person. That’s not it. She’s a wonderful person, sometimes, with a heart of gold, again… sometimes. But there are some, oh I don’t know what you would call them. Traits? Personality flaws? Whatever they may be.

She can be very rude.

Now like I said, she IS a wonderful woman and she has a heart of gold. If you know her. But if you’re meeting her for the first time, she comes of kind of… I guess stuck up would be a good term. I’m not quite sure how else to put it. When being introduced to people she will shake their hand and not really look them in the eye and give you a pretty short, “hello.” Without having any warmth or welcome in her voice. I know that it’s coming from deep roots of insecurity on her part but from an outsiders perspective it comes off as being stuck up.

She has no patience.

Mostly this comes with children who are not related to her. The younger they are, the less patience she has for them. Especially crying babies. It also comes with people who are, oh I’m not sure how to put this, waiting on her I suppose. Like being in a restaurant. If you are ever to have the pleasure of waiting on her, wow good luck to you! If they’re not fast enough she gets an attitude. She sighs, and I’m not talking about those cute little, ‘*sigh* I wonder what he’s doing right now I’m so in love!!’ types of sighs. We’re talking, ‘*sigh* Why did I even bother coming here?!!’ types. And sometimes she will even make comments. It can be embarrassing!

She cries over…. NOTHING!!

Now I can be a very emotional person myself. I won’t deny that. But when I do it’s for a valid reason! She gets upset and cries over nothing! A perfect example was just this past weekend. Sunday we all went to church that morning and we had planned the day before that after church we would all go and see the new Narnia movie. My son and I have been dying to see it. Well we were all hungry after church so we ran home to have lunch and then we’re sitting there and my mom decides we’ll go to the later show so we don’t have to go and rush back into town and then we would just pick dinner up on the way home. Well we were sitting there and she mentioned she was tired and could use a nap. I said well you know we don’t have to go see the movie tonight, we could go on your next day off or the next time you get off work early. She says that would be great we could go Monday, but she still wanted to run into town to pick up dinner because she didn’t want to feel like cooking. I asked if she was sure and she said yes of course. We’ve decided what we want. She leaves with Taylor to go pick it up. They get home and she has this major attitude. She’s walking around setting things down roughly and just got this ticked off look on her face. So I ask her what’s wrong. And it happens…. She starts crying. “Dinner cost more than I thought it was and I had to use part of the movie money!” I snapped. I just couldn’t take it by then because this wasn’t the first emotional outburst without reason. I’ll admit I cussed at her and let her know just how stupid I thought it was to be upset about and who cares so we go later on in the week after payday.

Ok so maybe I was a bit too harsh there and I shouldn’t have said exactly what I did. But I’m scared! Please lord do not let me become my mother!

What I want to be when I grow up?

*Grabs duster*
*Dusts off keyboard*
*Testing. Testing.*

Ok. Here it goes….

So I haven’t done this in some time. I kind of miss writing. But lately I’ve lost my voice. I really haven’t had anything to say. Well not that there hasn’t been anything going on in my life to write about. Believe me I could write a book. It’s just not anything I care to write about.

So what do I do now?

I could work on the novel I’ve been dying to write. I’d put it off for some time. Of course I have plenty of excuses. My biggest one was, “I need a new computer. This one is too slow. I don’t have Word on it anymore and that’s my program!” Ok done. I have a new computer. I have no valid excuses. So what’s my deal?

Am I afraid of failure?

Well that could be. But I feel that I can/could handle rejection quite well. We learn from our failures and it makes us strive to do or be better.

Am I afraid of success?

Now, that could be as well. When you’ve been and done mediocre your whole life, how do you handle rising above that? Would you be the same? Would you be different? Success can sometimes be a downfall.

My dream truly is to walk into a bookstore one day and see my name in print. On the cover of a novel. Oh that would be bliss! But let’s face it, is that a reality? I mean, I have so much going on inside my head but would anybody really buy that crap?

So what else could I do?

What do I want to be when I grow up? When I should have grown up a long time ago. I’m tired of being mediocre. I’m tired of working go nowhere jobs. Do you chase your dreams only to find out that they were nothing more than that? Just a dream…