What I want to be when I grow up?

*Grabs duster*
*Dusts off keyboard*
*Testing. Testing.*

Ok. Here it goes….

So I haven’t done this in some time. I kind of miss writing. But lately I’ve lost my voice. I really haven’t had anything to say. Well not that there hasn’t been anything going on in my life to write about. Believe me I could write a book. It’s just not anything I care to write about.

So what do I do now?

I could work on the novel I’ve been dying to write. I’d put it off for some time. Of course I have plenty of excuses. My biggest one was, “I need a new computer. This one is too slow. I don’t have Word on it anymore and that’s my program!” Ok done. I have a new computer. I have no valid excuses. So what’s my deal?

Am I afraid of failure?

Well that could be. But I feel that I can/could handle rejection quite well. We learn from our failures and it makes us strive to do or be better.

Am I afraid of success?

Now, that could be as well. When you’ve been and done mediocre your whole life, how do you handle rising above that? Would you be the same? Would you be different? Success can sometimes be a downfall.

My dream truly is to walk into a bookstore one day and see my name in print. On the cover of a novel. Oh that would be bliss! But let’s face it, is that a reality? I mean, I have so much going on inside my head but would anybody really buy that crap?

So what else could I do?

What do I want to be when I grow up? When I should have grown up a long time ago. I’m tired of being mediocre. I’m tired of working go nowhere jobs. Do you chase your dreams only to find out that they were nothing more than that? Just a dream…